What to Do When a Coworker Is Bullied with Homophobia or Transphobia at Work

I was once told by a coworker, right before stepping in front of a client, that I should “turn down my gay.”

Another time, I was told I dressed “like a woman”—a comment aimed at me, a trans femme person, as though my identity needed to be corrected or hidden. These weren’t jokes. These were warnings. The message was: You’re too much. You’re not what clients want. You’re not safe to be fully yourself here.

But here’s the thing: I don’t know where that knob is. I don’t know how to tone it down.

So I took the risk. I went out there, I was myself, and the client? They loved me. My presentation was a hit. But when I walked back into that room, I realized something—no one had my back. No one said, Hey, that wasn’t okay.

Homophobia and transphobia in the workplace don’t always show up as slurs or open hostility. Sometimes, they’re quiet. A whispered comment. A “joke.” A piece of advice wrapped in concern that’s really just a way of saying, You don’t belong here.

If you see it happening to a coworker, you have a choice. You can be one of the silent ones, or you can be the person who steps up.

So, what do you do?

1. Speak Up in the Moment
If you hear a homophobic or transphobic comment—or see someone being treated unfairly because of who they are—say something. You don’t have to be confrontational, but you do have to be clear. “That’s not okay” or “Let’s keep this professional” can shut things down quickly. Silence gives bullies permission—don’t hand it to them.

2. Check In on Your Coworker
If you didn’t speak up in the moment, don’t let that be the end of it. Pull them aside. “I heard what they said. That wasn’t okay. Are you alright?” That kind of support can make all the difference. Being targeted can feel deeply isolating—but being seen and supported helps rebuild safety.

3. Take It to Leadership (If Safe to Do So)
If the behaviour continues, escalate it. Talk to HR. Speak to a manager. Use your workplace’s code of conduct if there is one. This isn’t about creating drama—it’s about ensuring everyone has the right to exist safely and authentically at work.

4. Educate Yourself and Others
Use your privilege and position to advocate. Encourage inclusivity training. Share resources. Be the one who brings awareness to the room—because the people being harmed shouldn’t have to do it alone. And when someone shares their experience, believe them.

5. Lead by Example
Make it clear in your words and actions that queerness and transness are not things to be tolerated—they are things to be respected, celebrated, and protected. Use inclusive language. Respect pronouns. Model the kind of allyship that creates safety and belonging for everyone.

The workplace should be a space where we all get to show up as our full, unapologetic selves. If you see a coworker being bullied with homophobia or transphobia, don’t stay quiet.

Be the person you’d want in your corner. Because silence is noticed. But so is action.