How to Learn About Marginalized Experiences Without Causing Harm

Someone recently asked me this, and I think it’s worth answering publicly:

“So whatever the topic… POC issues, LGBTQ+ issues, women’s issues… if someone is sincerely trying to educate themselves, where do they go if they’re not supposed to ask people directly? Would they even necessarily know the best source online if they were told to ‘Google it’? I wouldn’t want them to go google the wrong thing and learn propaganda.”

Great question, Kimberly, and I totally get where you’re coming from.

When someone’s genuinely trying to educate themselves on things like POC issues, 2SLGBTQIA+ experiences, or gender equity, the key is approaching it with humility and initiative. It’s not that you can’t ask questions. It’s just about how and where you ask them.

Marginalized folks are constantly expected to educate others while also carrying the emotional weight of their own lived experience. That’s why “Google it” isn’t meant to be rude. It’s about respecting that labor. But yeah—not every source online is reliable, and it’s totally fair to be cautious.

So what’s the better move?

Start with content created by people who live these experiences. Read books. Watch documentaries. Listen to podcasts. Follow educators and creators who are already sharing this knowledge openly and often. And if you’re not sure where to begin, The Trevor Project is a great place to start for queer-related learning.

And when you do have questions, make sure you’re asking them in spaces built for learning—not under someone’s vulnerable post, or in a way that expects emotional labor on demand.

Curiosity is beautiful. But responsible curiosity? That’s allyship.