Respecting Agency and Accessibility: A Real-Life Reminder

A few weeks ago, I shared a video about why it’s so important to give marginalized people their agency—especially when they’re advocating for themselves. My friend Patty watched it, and the message stuck with her. At a recent community event, Patty and I were chatting with a few of her friends, including someone who uses a mobility device. An event organizer—loud and maybe a few drinks in—came over to hype up an after-party. Then he pointed to the mobility aid and said, “But this thing’s not going to fit in that space.”

My brain went into shock. Did he just say that? I looked at Patty’s friend, and his face said it all. He didn’t make a big deal of it, but you could tell the comment landed. It’s moments like this that highlight why understanding mobility device etiquette and disability inclusion is so crucial. I view mobility aids—whether a wheelchair, cane, or scooter—as an extension of a person’s body. You don’t touch it, you don’t lean on it, and you certainly don’t refer to it as “this thing.” And let’s not forget, here in Ontario, accessibility is a legal requirement. If your space isn’t accessible through the front, you must offer an alternative route. Full stop.

What really stood out to me was how Patty responded. She turned to me and asked, “Should I talk to him first?” Because she knew him personally, she wanted to check in before escalating things. I told her yes—respecting someone’s agencyis always the right call. She spoke to the organizer directly, explained what she heard, and then asked her friend if she had his blessing to formally bring it up with event staff. He said yes. That moment—checking in first, offering support, and honouring his autonomy—was powerful. It was proof that real learning leads to real change.