Glossary: A Piece of Gayke – Your Guide to Better Allyship

Able-bodied: A person without physical disabilities. Able-bodied people typically don’t have to think about accessibility in public spaces, transportation, or work environments.

Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions and their impact, apologizing without excuses, and actively working to do better. It means showing change, not just saying sorry.

Active listening: A focused and intentional way of listening that includes eye contact, body language, and responses that reflect understanding. It’s different from simply hearing—it’s about being fully present.

Ally: Someone who supports and stands up for the rights of a marginalized group they’re not part of.

Allyship: The ongoing, active practice of using your privilege to support and uplift marginalized communities. It’s not a one-time act—it’s a way of showing up, every day.

Allyship action plan: A personalized blueprint for how you’ll continue the work beyond the course. This plan helps turn learning into lived change.

Allyship is a verb: Allyship is not a static label. It’s an action—a way of living and consistently choosing to support others through your behavior.

Assigned female at birth (AFAB) / Assigned male at birth (AMAB): Clinical and affirming terms that describe the sex designation given at birth, without assuming someone’s current gender identity.

Being called in: When someone compassionately points out that your words or actions caused harm, with the intention of helping you learn and grow. Being called in is an opportunity—not a punishment—and how you respond can either strengthen or harm trust.

Being seen: The powerful experience of being recognized, respected, and valued for who you are.

Calling something out: Directly addressing harmful behavior, language, or systems. It can happen publicly or privately and is one way to disrupt harm in the moment.

Centering yourself: Shifting the focus of a conversation or moment to your own feelings, intentions, or experiences—especially when someone else has been harmed.

Correcting yourself: Briefly acknowledging a mistake (like misgendering) and continuing without making the moment about you.

Deflecting: Shifting blame or attention away from your actions—often by focusing on your intent instead of your impact.

Draw a line: Setting a clear boundary to communicate that harmful language or behavior is not acceptable.

Emotional labor: The invisible effort required to manage emotions or support someone else's emotional needs—often expected of marginalized people during tough conversations.

Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else.

Freeze response: A natural reaction to conflict or discomfort where someone becomes immobilized or unsure how to respond.

Gold star / Graduation: Metaphors for achieving an endpoint or receiving praise. In allyship, there’s no finish line or reward—it’s about continual growth.

Holding space: Creating an emotional environment where someone feels safe to share without fear of judgment or interruption.

Homophobic / Transphobic: Beliefs, actions, or language that show prejudice against queer (homophobic) or trans (transphobic) people.

Inclusive language: Words and phrases that respect and reflect people of all genders and sexualities.

Language (as a signal): The words you use tell people whether they’re welcome and safe in a space.

Lens: A way of seeing and interpreting the world. An 'allyship lens' helps evaluate how your words and actions affect others.

Listening (as an ally): Paying full attention to someone’s words, emotions, and experiences—especially when they’re sharing something vulnerable or difficult.

Lived experience: Knowledge gained from someone’s direct, personal experiences, especially from people within marginalized communities.

Make it about you: Turning the focus of a conversation back to your own feelings or stories, especially when someone else is sharing something vulnerable.

Microaggressions: Subtle comments or behaviors that communicate bias or discrimination, often unintentionally.

Misgendering: Using the wrong pronouns or gendered terms for someone, especially trans or nonbinary people.

Movement (not moment): Allyship isn’t about reacting to headlines—it’s about being part of a long-term effort to create equity.

Normalize: Making something feel usual, accepted, and expected—like queer presence and language in everyday life.

Partner: A gender-neutral way to refer to a significant other, which avoids assumptions about someone's relationship or their partner's gender.

Performative: Support that is more about appearances than meaningful action.

Power (from privilege): The ability to influence situations or access resources. Using power responsibly means creating equity.

Presence: Being emotionally and physically available in a way that affirms someone’s experience without judgment or distraction.

Privilege: Unearned advantages based on aspects of identity like race, gender, or ability. Privilege doesn’t mean your life is easy—just that those aspects didn’t make it harder.

Proactive vs. reactive: Proactive allyship means offering support before harm occurs or before you're asked. Reactive allyship waits until after harm happens.

Pronouns: Words like he, she, and they that are used to refer to someone without using their name. Using the correct ones is respectful and affirming.

Queer joy: The happiness, freedom, and self-love that queer people express—especially meaningful in a world that often tries to diminish them.

Queer-owned / Queer-led: Businesses or organizations created and led by people in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

Rainbow-washing: Using rainbow symbols (especially during Pride Month) to appear supportive of queer communities without offering real support or action.

Silence sends a message: Not speaking up in the face of harm implies agreement or indifference. Silence often reinforces harm.

Spiraling: Becoming overwhelmed by guilt, shame, or panic after making a mistake. This can center your emotions rather than the harm caused.

System (e.g., workplace, school, faith community): Structures or institutions that shape people’s lives. Systems can be challenged to be more inclusive and equitable.

Take breaks, not exits: Rest is necessary—but don’t walk away from allyship when it gets hard. Pace yourself and keep going.

Tolerance / Acceptance / Celebration: A spectrum of inclusion. Tolerance is passive permission. Acceptance is neutral inclusion. Celebration is active affirmation.

Trans / Transgender: A person whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

Unlearning: Letting go of outdated or harmful beliefs and behaviors. An essential part of growing as an ally.