Glossary: Cissy Fit – Your Guide to Better Queer Allyship

2SLGBTQIA+: An acronym that stands for Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or Questioning), Intersex, Asexual, plus other identities. It reflects the diversity of sexual orientations and gender identities.

Able-bodied: A person without physical disabilities. Able-bodied people often don’t have to think about accessibility in public spaces, transportation, or work environments.

Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions and their impact, apologizing without excuses, and actively working to do better. Accountability is shown through change, not just words.

Active listening: Listening with intention, presence, and care. This includes resisting the urge to interrupt, fix, or redirect the conversation back to yourself.

Ally: Someone who supports and stands up for the rights and dignity of a marginalized group they are not part of.

Allyship: The ongoing, active practice of using your access, voice, and privilege to support and uplift marginalized communities. Allyship is not a label. It’s a daily practice.

Allyship action plan: A personal, realistic plan for continuing allyship beyond the course. It turns learning into long-term action and accountability.

Allyship is a verb: A reminder that allyship is not something you “are.” It’s something you do, repeatedly, through behavior and choices.

Assigned female at birth (AFAB) / Assigned male at birth (AMAB): Clinical and affirming terms that describe the sex designation given at birth, without assuming a person’s current gender identity.

Being called in: When someone points out harm with care and the intention of growth. Being called in is an opportunity to learn, not a punishment.

Being seen: The experience of being recognized, respected, and valued as your full self.

Boundary / Boundary-setting: Clearly communicating what language, behavior, or conversation you will not accept. Boundaries protect dignity and safety.

Calling something out: Naming harmful behavior, language, or systems in order to interrupt harm. This can happen publicly or privately.

Celebration (vs tolerance): Celebration actively affirms queer existence and joy. It goes beyond “allowing” someone to exist and moves toward genuine belonging.

Centering yourself: Shifting attention to your own feelings, intentions, or discomfort when someone else has been harmed.

Chosen family: Supportive relationships built through love and care rather than biology. Common and deeply important in queer communities.

Cisgender: A person whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

Cissy Fit: A course designed to help cisgender, heteronormative people strengthen their empathy, awareness, and allyship through reflection and practice.

Correcting yourself: Briefly acknowledging a mistake, such as misgendering, correcting it, and continuing without making the moment about you.

Deflecting: Avoiding accountability by focusing on intent, excuses, or unrelated issues instead of harm caused.

Draw a line: Setting a firm boundary to signal that harmful language or behavior is not acceptable.

Emotional labor: The often-unseen work of managing emotions, educating others, or providing support. This labor is frequently expected of marginalized people.

Empathy: The ability to understand and connect with another person’s feelings and experiences.

Empathy muscles: A metaphor used in Cissy Fit to describe empathy as something that can be strengthened through practice, reflection, and repetition.

Freeze response: A natural reaction to conflict or discomfort where someone feels unable to act or speak.

Gold star / Graduation: Metaphors for completion or praise. In allyship, there is no final achievement or endpoint.

Heteronormative: The assumption that being straight and cisgender is the default or “normal.” These assumptions can erase queer experiences.

Holding space: Creating an environment where someone feels safe to share without interruption, judgment, or pressure to explain themselves.

Homophobic / Transphobic: Beliefs, actions, or language rooted in prejudice against queer or trans people.

Inclusive language: Language that respects and reflects people of all genders and sexualities.

Language (as a signal): The words you use communicate whether a space is safe, respectful, and inclusive.

Lens: A way of seeing and interpreting the world. An allyship lens considers how systems, language, and actions affect others.

Listening (as an ally): Listening with presence, humility, and care, especially when someone is sharing something vulnerable.

Lived experience: Knowledge gained through personal experience, particularly from people within marginalized communities.

Make it about you: Redirecting a conversation toward your own feelings or experiences when someone else is sharing harm or vulnerability.

Marriage equality: Legal recognition of same-sex marriage. While a major milestone, it does not equal full equality or safety.

Microaggressions: Subtle comments or behaviors that reinforce stereotypes or exclusion, often unintentionally.

Misgendering: Using incorrect pronouns or gendered language for someone, especially harmful for trans and nonbinary people.

Movement, not a moment: A reminder that allyship is long-term work, not a reaction to trends or headlines.

Normalize: Making something feel expected and accepted, such as queer language, relationships, and presence.

Partner: A gender-neutral term for a significant other that avoids assumptions about gender or relationship structure.

Performative / Performative allyship: Support that prioritizes appearance over meaningful action, often visible only when it’s socially rewarded.

Power (from privilege): Access, influence, or safety granted by systems. Power can be used to create equity when used intentionally.

Presence: Being emotionally and mentally available in a way that affirms someone’s experience.

Privilege: Unearned advantages based on identity factors like race, gender, sexuality, or ability. Privilege does not mean life is easy, only that certain barriers are absent.

Proactive vs reactive: Proactive allyship anticipates harm and offers support early. Reactive allyship responds only after harm occurs.

Pronouns: Words like she, he, and they used to refer to someone respectfully. Using correct pronouns affirms identity.

Queer: An umbrella term for identities outside heterosexual and cisgender norms. Reclaimed by many, but not used by everyone.

Queer joy: Joy, celebration, and self-expression within queer communities. Joy is a form of resistance and survival.

Queer-owned / Queer-led: Businesses or organizations created and run by people within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

Rainbow-washing: Using rainbow symbols or Pride messaging without backing it up with real support or action.

Reliability: Being consistent and trustworthy in allyship, especially when no one is watching.

Repair: The act of addressing harm, apologizing sincerely, and changing behavior to rebuild trust.

Safe space: An environment where people feel protected, respected, and able to be themselves without fear of harm.

Silence sends a message: Not speaking up in the face of harm often communicates acceptance of that harm.

Speaking up: Using your voice to interrupt harmful language or behavior, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Spiraling: Becoming overwhelmed by guilt or shame after a mistake, often centering your emotions instead of accountability.

Stonewall Uprising: A 1969 act of resistance against police harassment at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, widely recognized as a catalyst for modern LGBTQ+ rights movements.

System (workplace, school, healthcare, faith community): Institutions that shape people’s access to safety, resources, and dignity. Systems can and should be challenged.

Take breaks, not exits: Rest is necessary. Walking away from allyship entirely is not.

Tolerance / Acceptance / Celebration: A spectrum of inclusion. Tolerance is passive. Acceptance is neutral. Celebration is active and affirming.

Trans / Transgender: A person whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

Two-Spirit (2S): An Indigenous term used by some Indigenous peoples to describe gender and sexual identities rooted in cultural tradition.

Unlearning: The process of letting go of harmful beliefs or behaviors and replacing them with more just ones.